Justified selfishness

Once, years ago, I was granted the therapeutic talks of a wonderful woman. One of the things she mentioned was that we all are entitled to, and should stand by it, 'justified selfishness'.

Now, I have long struggled to get along with the idea of selfishness, as I believe it is one of the worst things anyone can be. As far as I'm concerned, selfishness is the root to all real evil (as you may have already read in Ask the Priestess - Selfishness) and as such we should not want it in our lives. How could I accept that concept, particularly as it was such a negative, in relation to my own healing? Easy: I didn't.

It was this past April, when I was visiting friends, when I had a revealing moment with a friend who had also been helped by this generous guide. It was she who mentioned this concept of 'justified selfishness'. I was taken aback, as I could not, for the life of me, remember having ever spoken about this! Only after Ana explained the concept, and gave me examples of the times when Nélida (the therapist) had discussed it, did I start to sort of remember. There was a crack, and memory shone through it. I realised I had blocked it all, that my prejudice regarding the words had clouded my ability to grow.

What is 'justified selfishness', then? It is a bit hard for me to describe it simply, but I'll do my best. We are justified to be selfish when not standing by our own well-being and /or gain would result in harm to us. Instinctual reactions of self-preservation are the most basic instances of 'justified selfishness', for example. The key thing here is that 'justified selfishness' also deals in Magic. In other words, we are allowed to use Magic in a 'justified selfishness' fashion in order to provide for our Journey into our Greatness.

Let's use another example, since they are so good at clarifying the obscure. And I'll use my own experience.

I wanted to take this 8-day programme that will allow me to regain a better grip on my Greatness through Magic and Intuition. In order to attend, I had to a) have the money; b) have the time; c) have the independence. The first two were relatively easy, as I had been changing my environment with magic in mind for a while before I even learned about this programme (I actually though I'd have to wait until next January). It was the third one that proved to be a hurdle, and that's where 'justified selfishness' revealed itself to me in all its generosity.

I grew up strong and independent, and when I got into my present relationship (the big one, as far as I'm concerned at this point), I didn't think much of it. But it turns out that I started to be so involved in 'us' that I forgot the 'I'; so willing to give, I forgot to ask for the things that matter. This, in turn and unbeknownst to me, created a feeling of loss and anxiety regarding my ability to help the other grow and flourish. How, then, with such a feeling, could I have the independence to go on my merry way, spend the money necessary, and let my partner deal with the details of the move (finding a new house, a new job, hiring services, etc.)?

It was Germán himself who answered, when I randomly asked one night if he missed anything from our early days together, that he missed my independence, my strength. Then, Ana reminded me of 'justified selfishness'. Finally, I see in some of my students, doting mothers, how harmful total giving is - to themselves as well as to the children both, with the former losing their identity and the latter molly-coddled to an extent it robs them of their independence.

I decided to look out for myself, and to do so proudly. It is obvious to me now that this blindness to my right to receive what I want is one of my main Guardians. I now have a weapon to wield and win with: 'justified selfishness' is not a dirty word, but a necessity.